The Power of Connection
A time for connection!
Connection! We all need it, especially right now, in a world that is becoming so disconnected and fragile. With lockdowns all around the world, separation from one another and lack of physical contact with others. The last two years have been an intense time for many people and we have all struggled from time to time to try to stay connected to our loved ones and each other as much as we can. From going from physical contact to zoom calls and video chats, life has been a massive transition for many of us.
And as Christmas is only days away for many of us, it will be a time of connecting with others, friends, family and loved ones. So it's an ideal time for us to feel some kind of connection with the ones we love and care for.
But real connection, can sometimes be a challenge to achieve.
Research shows that loneliness is on the rise, the lack of human connection and interaction can be as harmful to our health as obesity, smoking and high blood pressure 🩸
In todays age we live very busy lives, trying to strike a balance between work, kids, school, home life, hobbies, self care and more. Our social connections fall by the wayside.
Connection on a deep level is becoming a lost art?
I just recently joined a really lovely local workshop in Henley, hosted by Professional Yoga Teacher Sally Hodgetts. It was all about "The Importance of Connection"
The day was about bringing us together; spending time connecting with ourselves and one another through yoga movement, meditation and healthy nutritious vegetarian food.
During the lovely yoga, and chats with Sally, and the lovely group of people, we was asked -
What does Connection mean to you?
And that got me thinking...
Our connection with each other has totally changed.
The definition of Connection in the dictionary is that something is linked with another or associated with another, or that there is a relationship between two or more things.
Connection on a holistic viewpoint is connecting with others who have a sense of being open and available to another person, having empathy and compassion.
Connecting with people has now been proven by research to be good for our moods, even our physical health and wellbeing.
Studies have shown that those who feel supported, valued, and loved are happier, healthier and live longer.
It can lower anxiety and depression, by helping us to regulate our emotions, boost self esteem and helps to improve our immune system. By neglecting our need to connect, we put our health at risk.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow's famed hierarchy of needs places our need to belong as secondary only to our survival needs. And that as a child we need a trusted Connection with a caregiver to do well as an adult.
Connection protects our mental health. Real connection is more about just talking to others or sharing your interests. True connection can happen without words and with someone we don't even know.
We live in a world with over seven billion people, and we all need connection.
Here are some examples of having human connection:
Having a personal conversation about what is important to you with someone and feeling listened to and understood.
Taking the time to fully listen to someone else and feeling real empathy for them.
Sharing experiences with others that involves laughter and goodwill
Being fully aware of your here and now experience, the present moment, fully in touch with what is happening in this moment.
Connection has no rules, there are no agreements or expectations or commitment.
So to answer the above question - What does Connection mean to you?
For me connection is all about being in the moment, when we connect with others, we are no longer thinking about what went wrong in the past or our future worries. We are just fully available to be present in the moment and to share the experiences we are having with another person. Whether that's to share our pain or to share our triumph. Having a connection is key to be able to fully be ourselves. You can feel connection when you are in a heart-to-heart ❤️ conversation with your closest friend. It's two or more people interacting with each other and each person feels valued, seen, and most importantly heard. There's no judgements, and you always feel stronger and nourished after engaging with them, not drained...
You can feel connected to someone who isn't in the same room.
Human connection only works if there is honesty, acceptance and patience with another to be able to share our experiences and there's with another person.
When we connect to others we feel good. It's kind and loving and creates empathy for others. When we feel anger, fear, judgement and criticism, we often feel closed down to connection and stops us from receiving this human connection that we all need.
It's also about a sense of trust that exists between you and another person, feeling comfortable to be able to open up and allow true connection to take place.
Connection is not about trying to be interesting, funny, or smart, or by looking to others to know what to do next. If you feel the need to be accepted, you are not being your true self, this isn't connection but showmanship.
You cannot really connect if the real you isn't present.
Problems that can cause difficulties with connecting with others 😔 are:-
Anxiety and social anxiety disorder
And this isn't just connection with others, but also connection with ourselves...
Feeling connected to ourselves is just as vital. Knowing ourselves is key, not just what we like and dislike, but what we value about ourselves and our lives.
To learn more about really getting to know yourself and to connect more with yourself, please check out my recent blog post on this very subject and ways that you can benefit from this and those around you also...
When we have connection with ourselves, this allows us to go out into the world with awareness of our inherent self-worth. We are able to create lives that are meaningful and fulfilling, by responding to your needs and taking good care of yourself and how you feel.
By taking a note of what we are actually feeling protects us from depression, anxiety, addiction in its many forms, and engaging in numbing behaviours.
We need to be grounded in who we are and to fully connect with who we are, before we can have healthy relationships with others.
Its also important that you have time for fun and relaxation. Engaging in enjoyable solo activities that we find energising or calming, through solitude - like walking in nature, cooking dinner, meditating or listening to your favourite music. Do activities that you enjoy and that bring you joy and happiness.
Practice the art of self-compassion, which is a big part of connecting with yourself.
It's a daily practice of kindness and letting go of judgement, and tuning in regularly to your own emotions, spiritual side of you and your physical needs, and to honour them in you daily.
This is why all connection begins by learning to improve our self-connection. Lets be clear, though: No one lives in perfect self-connection, in all areas of life, 100% of the time! We all are, only human!
The best we can do is to develop healthy habits that ensure we regularly check in with ourselves, that we honour our priorities, and helps us to restore connection when it is (inevitably) lost or muffled in this busy modern life.
To find out more about how you can develop better connection with yourself and others. I have some great resources for you. If your interested I have some free simple self-care planner that will really set you up for the new year 2022!
Plus I have a wonderful new 60+ page ebook/workbook which is £16.99, that I have used successfully with my clients in my Holistic Coaching practice for many years, and it could help you to develop your self-awareness, and building a better connection to yourself.
It's called "Developing Self-awareness"
If you would like any of these that I have mentioned? please email me here at email@example.com with your request.
And if you would like my help and guidance on any of the above, I offer one-to-one Holistic Coaching that focuses on connecting to your inner needs, wants and desires in a holistic way, and that helps you to create a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling. Please check out my Holistic Coaching page to find out more, or message me here at firstname.lastname@example.org
I will be happy to help you in any way that I can.
I very much wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a Very Happy New Year at 2022!
I hope that you have a wonderful time connecting with yourself and your loved ones this festive season.
And I hope that I can provide you with a reading one day soon in 2022!
Much love and best wishes