• Kelly Singh

Learning How Not To Worry - Breaking The Habit!




Breaking The Habit of Worrying.

Learning how not to worry is something many of us wish we could do. The truth is, we can. Although worry is inevitable in some situations, most of us worry far more than we need to. Worry has simply become a habit and, like all habits, it can be broken!


When you are worried about something, it's easy to imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen. In reality, these worries may never come true. What could happen isn't the same as what will happen.

Even so, it is difficult to stop these worries if they are left to their own devises.

You need to challenge them in order to re-programme your brain and stop them from taking over your life.

Our brains are complicated, but neuroscientists do know that we form thought processes based on repetition. The more we allow worry thoughts to stay in our head, the stronger the 'thought pathway' becomes.

Our brains become more familiar with worry thoughts, rather than happy thoughts.

There is no 'quick fix' to stop worrying. It will take practice and it will mean that you have to learn

about yourself and your 'triggers' These are the kind of things that cause you to worry.


Do you worry more at different times of the month, for example close to pay day. Or do you worry if you have to face a new situation?

We need to explore your worries because it is these that are causing you anxiety.


Understand Whether Worrying Can Be Productive


When we worry, we put our brains on high alert. This causes an adrenaline spike in

the same way as if we had a hungry lioness in our kitchen.


When you are worried about something, it’s easy to imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen. In reality, these worries may never come true. What could happen isn’t the same as what will happen.


Even so, it is difficult to stop these worries if they are left to their own devises.


Our blood pressure increases, our pupils dilate, our muscles tense ready for the fight or flight response.

The mental and physical responses that we invoke by worrying cause our stress and

anxiety symptoms to increase. This is not good for our physical or mental health. The problem is that our bodies become accustomed to having regular higher levels of adrenaline in our system so when the levels fall, our mind begins to work overtime to invoke the adrenal response again.


This cycle is what keeps us worrying but once we understand what is happening in our mind and body, we can control it. The problem with an adrenaline rush is that it is closely followed by an adrenal crash. This can leave us feeling depressed and lethargic.


There are two types of worry. The first is the kind of worry that's good for us, that makes sure we take care of things we need to. The second kind of worry is just a waste of time and leads to mental exhaustion - this is the kind of worry over things that we have no control over.


You need to challenge them in order to re-programme your brain and stop them from taking over your life.


Think carefully about what you're worrying about. Learning how not to worry means learning how to differentiate between the two types of worry. If it IS something you can do something about, make sure you take steps to do that. If you sit there doing nothing you'll only keep worrying. If you know you've done all that you can, and there's nothing more you can do, keep telling that to yourself to put it out of your mind.


Worrying and Anxiety


Our brains are like “smoke detectors” called the amygdala. Its job is to keep a constant lookout for danger. It’s been shaped by millions of years of evolution. Our ancestors were the ones that survived long enough to propagate, thanks in no small part to their vigilant amygdalas. We are, it turns out, genetically predisposed to be chronic worriers!

The mental and physical responses that we invoke by worrying cause our stress and anxiety symptoms to increase. This is not good for our physical or mental health.

The problem is that our bodies become accustomed to having regular higher levels of adrenaline in our system so when the levels fall, our mind begins to work overtime to invoke the adrenal response again.


This cycle is what keeps us worrying but once we understand what is happening in our mind and body, we can control it. The problem with an adrenaline rush is that it is closely followed by an adrenal crash. This can leave us feeling depressed and lethargic.


Our amygdalas, can become trigger-happy and signal danger too often for us to be at peace in our own skin. Tragic world news, a nagging health concern, tension with a loved one, fears about children, daily traffic, an overstuffed to-do list, and old wounds reopened by a difficult interaction—all of these and more can loop through our brains and trigger our alarm systems many times per day. How can we live in an anxiety-provoking world with a brain evolved to be vigilant for danger and live anywhere close to inner peace?


First, it’s important to realise that trying to solve the problem of worry and anxiety so that you’re almost always at peace, is a recipe for more anxiety. Worry and anxiety is not a solvable problem.

We don’t expect to eat a meal and solve our hunger pangs once and for all. Why, then, should we expect some sort of medicinal or spiritual breakthrough that puts us beyond the reach of worry and anxiety forever?

Not even Buddha or Jesus claimed that they were so spiritually advanced that they were able to banish worry and anxiety from their experience. A spiritual approach to worry and anxiety starts with accepting that it is part of being human.


As soon as we accept worry and anxiety and surround it with non-judgement, we have a flow of awareness, the body then begins to realign to its basic rhythms (such as heart rate and lowering blood pressure) in a way that leads to a bodily state that we experience as more calm and more centered.

What we can do


There will always be things to worry about or fear, but it's our choice how we deal with the situations that we face. We all have a choice to see the situation for what it is, accept that there are things that we have no control over, all we can do is to be ourselves, to be balanced in our knowing of who we are, what we are doing each day to help ourselves and to live our lives to the best of our ability and to make the most of everyday.


This is all that we can do.


We need to manage our expectations, for us all to value ourselves enough to be able to look after our everyday needs and to accept what is.


That is all that we can do. We need to focus more on what we can do, instead of what we can't do and to avoid the fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and pain when it is unnecessary.


We cannot control what happens to us in our lives, the experiences and events in our lives that happen to us. We can't control what other people do, we can't control how our life pans out, we can't even control the weather! All we can control is how we respond to the life experiences that we face, the circumstances and the external situations.


It's how we deal with them when they happen, we each have a choice what we do and how we act and behave in certain situations and what we do and how we feel about things.


Set Aside Dedicated Worry Time

If you find that you've got a lot of things on your mind, and they are legitimate things to worry about, try setting aside dedicated time every day to do the worrying. This could mean waiting until your partner is home from work so you can discuss productive solutions together, or it could simply mean taking half an hour to worry each day so that you'll feel a little better ignoring your worries later on.


Catch Yourself When You're Worrying


Learning how not to worry isn't always easy - many of us get carried away with worrying without even noticing! Sometimes we can be doing one thing and suddenly find our thoughts wandering, or we start looking up things on the internet related to our worry. Unless this is going to do something to solve a problem, it's a waste of time.


But how do you catch yourself? It is going to take practice. If you find yourself worrying at work, put a post-it on your computer or your desk. It doesn't have to say "stop worrying" - it could be as simple as a picture of a smiley face to remind you to take control of your thoughts again. You also need to be actively looking for worrying thoughts. You won't always catch worry out quickly, but you'll gradually catch yourself sooner and sooner.


Remember, learning how not to worry takes practice. At first you might not think that these strategies are working, but with practice you'll find that taking your mind away from your worries is easier and easier.



If you would like any help or further guidance on your worries that you have, I can always help you by offering you a reading of the Tarot or Oracle cards and allowing the cards to provide you with more clarity to a problem or issue that is causing you to worry. Or I am here for you also in my Coaching and Spiritual Counselling sessions if this is something that you feel called to do and if you would like to book a session with me, whether it's a card reading or a coaching or counselling session. Please message me here at my email address at mystic-bliss@mail.com and I will be happy to schedule in some time for you and discuss your issues and concerns.


As always I look forward to connecting with you my dear soul brothers and soul sisters...


Much Love

🙏


Mystic Bliss

xx

Web: www.mysticbliss.com

Email: mystic-bliss@mail.com







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